Friday, January 09, 2004

Support Call


"Welch Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C:\> prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
[Ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug.] "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
[sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."
"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
[pause] "Yes, it is."
[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt s/he would have accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send him/her hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.]
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
[muffled] "Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
[still muffled] "I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
[clear again] "No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power--!?!" ...[AAAAAAARGH!]
This person was good friends with my supervisor, so I couldn't deal with him/her the way I really wanted to, and was forced to explain sweetly and gently to him/her that computers needed power just like office lights, and if the office lights were out, then the computer was too, and that yes, if s/he hadn't saved her work s/he had probably lost everything s/he'd done so far in WordPerfect. But I could still fantasize:

"A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!" [slam]

but that wouldn't have been a very nice thing to do, now would it?

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

Happy New Year
to all and to all a good night, wait, wrong holiday. So its a new year, another year gone by, another year ahead, either filled with the promise of anticipation of what lies ahead, or another year of the same old shit, and stuff, depends if the glass is half full or half empty I guess. For Myself I tend to see it both ways as half empty and half full at the same time. The actual new years was spent at home taking care of the boyfriend who had the flu, he was really sick, 102 degree fever, chills, sweats, aches, the works. I felt bad about going out without him, leaving him at home being sick and all. So I stayed in, played around on the new PC and got drunk, passed out around 10:30 or so and slept through the new year. Pretty sad, yes I know. But so it goes. Oh yeah, and it rained for most of the week, started tuesday the 30th and rained till Friday the 2nd only clearing up Saturday. Now there are potholes in the asphalt the size of garbage can lids all over the place, and just after I bought new front tires for my car, wonderful, even paid $60 for an alignment. But at least I didn't get sick too, at least I hope not.